Stay at Home Moms versus Working Moms
Being a Mom is one of the hardest jobs in the world. Some people say that the job gets easier over time, as our kids grow up, but I think it just becomes different, not easier! We face many different dilemmas as we raise our kids, and most of the time, no matter what we choose to do, whether it be types of punishment, yes or no answers, or how to answer our kids’ questions, our choices usually lead to feeling guilty, even if we made the right choices! Guilt is a well known feeling for mothers everywhere unfortunately, and society does not make things any easier on us!
One of the choices in motherhood that seems to be the toughest on us is the decision of what to do after maternity leave is over. Should we stay at home with our kids or should we go to work? If we choose to be a stay at home mom, society deems us as not good enough to be in the workforce – especially those career-minded, driven ladies who end up as CEO or vice president of their companies. Stay at home mothers always end up knowing at least one of these women, and absolutely hate getting the inevitable question: “So what are you doing these days?” Of course, the reaction when they hear that you are a stay at home mother is always the same: “Oh!” which is accompanied by the raised eyebrow and a comment like, “Well, I wish I could sit around all day with my kids, but you know me – workaholic!” (I’m not sure what gave these women the idea that taking care of kids, husband and house is not work!)
However, most working mothers feel just as guilty about working, as stay at home mothers feel about not working. If you choose to go back to work after having your baby, or if you have not been left with a choice in the matter, and you have to leave your child with somebody else for most of the day, it can be a heart wrenching and gut wrenching thing to do as a mother. It may get easier over time as our kids grow up, but the feeling of guilt never really goes away. The verdict? Being a mother is hard, and no matter which road you choose to take, you will feel guilty over your choice! It doesn’t have to be like that though, and we need to change our mindsets on the matter.
Our choices are just that – choices. If you choose to stay at home with your kids, then quit thinking about how you should be out there working, and really be at home with your children. They don’t want to see you pining around the house, wishing you were out there working; instead, show them a confident and happy mother who is content with the choice that she has made. Show them that it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks, as long as you know you’ve made the right choice.
In the same way, if you have chosen to work, or if not working is not an option for you, don’t foster that feeling of guilt – throw it out with the trash! You are working to provide more for your children and their future. Instead of feeling guilty over not spending every minute with them, make the most of the time you do get to spend with them and let them know how much they are loved.
